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A Fistful of Diamonds (pilot)
A Fistful of Diamonds '''is a pilot episode for Sunlight Bullets and chronologically the first episode overall. Synopsis After discovering a note leading to a treasure buried in Lands End Lookout, Gustav and Joseph set out to see who can find the treasure first. Plot ''(NOTE: This episode will be told via transcript.)''' *(OPENING: Bathroom. The episode begins with military dischargees/brothers Gustav and Joseph doing a few simple renovations to the bathroom of their apartment. Joseph places the toilet back into it's place.) *Joseph: All this because you refused to pay full price for a toilet plunger. *Gustav: It is the principle! They put the price up during the holiday to screw people over, not me! *Joseph: Alright, what's next? *Gustav: Now we demolish the wall. *Joseph: (Picks up a sledgehammer) Right, I'll do it. *Gustav: (Grabs the sledgehammer off Joseph) No, I'll do it. *(Both brothers try to take the sledgehammer off one another but Gustav succeeds due to his superior physique.) *Joseph: But I wanted to do it! *Gustav: (Chuckles whilst brandishing the sledgehammer) You will never beat me, boy. *Joseph: The hell is wrong with you? *Gustav: I will always win, no matter what you challenge me in! (He points the head of the sledgehammer towards Joseph as if the hammer was a sword) Never challenge me! *(Joseph facepalms.) *(We cut to a few minutes later where Joseph is sitting on a stool where Gustav is breaking the tiled walls of the bathroom nearest the bathtub.) *Joseph: Ok, can I have a go now? *Gustav: (Stops breaking the wall) No. (Resumes to breaking said wall) *Joseph: (Sighs in anger) *(While Gustav breaks the wall, a tile falls off revealing a little crevice, where an old dusty shoebox is seen. Joseph sees this immediately.) *Joseph: Wait, wait, look! *(Gustav is about to hit the crevice but sees the box. Joseph shoves Gustav out of the way and grabs the box.) *Joseph: What the... *(We then cut to the living room where Gustav and Joseph walk out of the bathroom with the box. Joseph places the box on top of the coffee table.) *Gustav: What is it? *Joseph: (Opens the box and discovers a letter) It's a letter. *(Joseph looks at the letter and examines it. What he finds surprises him.) *Gustav: What? *Joseph: Bro, it's dated December 7th, 1941! *Gustav: Let me see! (Looks at the letter and reads aloud) ''"My dear, by the time you comes across this letter, it means that I have been killed in action during the war. I have buried a chest filled with enough money to look after our family, just in case you and our children had to suffer through another Great Depression. The exact location is on a rock on the coasts of Lands End. All you need is a shovel. Hope to see you again in heaven, A." *(Joseph closes the letter) *Joseph: Bro, we have to go to Lands End now, this could be worth millions, enough to pay off the bills! Enough to pay off the rent! *Gustav: Give me that. (Takes the letter off Joseph) We cannot take these things! It is evil to take something meant for the dead! *Joseph: No it's not! What are they going to with it? *Gustav: You are a thief, boy. (He is about to walk out of the apartment) *Joseph: Where are you going? *Gustav: I will give it to the police. *Joseph: What, right now? Your car is in the autoshop! And Iain's got my motorcycle while his car is getting repaired! *Gustav: It is ok, I will take the taxi. You can start bashing the wall now. *Joseph: No, I'm fine, actually. I don't want to do it anymore. I'll come with you. *Gustav: It is ok, I need you to stay and renovate the bathroom. I will deal with all of this boring paperwork myself. *Joseph: I'm coming. *(The sudden sound of the taxi parking up in front of the brothers' apartment appears in the background. The brothers look at each other) *Laird Brothers: Taxi. *(The staredown grows more intense as the sound of a taxi door being opened is heard.) *(MUSIC: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bu59Fv_PD3w ) *(Both brothers rush towards the door. Joseph trips up Gustav and opens the door.) *(We then cut to outside of the apartment as Joseph reaches the taxi, only for Gustav to run up and lifts up Joseph. The taxi driver looks at the situation going on.) *Joseph: Let go of me! *(Gustav slams Joseph into the concrete and starts kicking him. The taxi driver is about to start up the car, but not before Gustav runs towards the taxi and opens the door towards the driver's seat) *Taxi Driver: What's goin.... *Gustav: Move! *(The taxi driver shifts over to the passenger seat in fear. Gustav pulls out his wallet and pulls out $20 USD and gives it to the driver, then proceeds to start up the car and pull out of the carpark. Meanwhile, Joseph picks up an empty spraycan from the rubbish bin and lobs it towards the back window of the taxi. Upon impact, the window breaks, causing the taxi driver to yell in fear.) *Joseph: You son of a....(sighs) *(Joseph pulls out his phone. We then cut to the taxi, where Gustav is driving through the town alongside the taxi driver.) *(Cut to a pharmacy lab where Iain, Joseph's friend with a prosthetic arm, is compounding a few medicines. A ringtone plays as he gets a call from Joseph. He ignores and finishes off compounding, to which he then picks up the phone.) *Iain: Hello? *Joseph: (Still outside of the apartment) What took you so long? I've been waiting 4 minutes for you to pick up! *Iain: And? I'm working right now, so try and call me again at 12:00PM. *Joseph: But...(Iain hangs up) Motherf.... *(Cut to 12:00PM where Joseph calls Iain again.) *Iain: What? *Joseph: Dude, I need you to come and take me to Lands End. *Iain: No way man, every time I come with you on some adventure it always goes bad for me! Remember what happened with that incident at Mount Sutro? *Joseph: Yeah, yeah, you lost your right arm, no big deal. But this is different. Someone left some money and I'm going there to dig up for myself. We're talking millions of dollars here. *Iain: I want a cut. You owe me. *Joseph: (Sigh) You want a cut? *Iain: Yes. *Joseph: How about I cut you throat with that scalpel, huh? How about I cut you open? *Iain: See you man. (Iain is about to hang up) *Joseph: WAIT! (Iain stops) What do you want? *Iain: Enough money to pay off the medical bills, that's all I'm asking for. *Joseph: Deal. *(We then cut to Joseph riding on his motorcycle with Iain through town.) *Joseph: Where's the nearest hardware store? *Iain: Uh...just take a turn left through Noriega Street. There's a hardware store there. *(They take a turn. We then cut to the taxi where Gustav is driving through Noriega Street, with the taxi driver in the seat next to him. She is still in shock as Gustav parks up outside of the hardware shop.) *(HARDWARE STORE: The shop is moderately busy, with workers stocking up shelves and customers browsing the items. Gustav runs in and sees a man stocking up paint.) *Gustav: Where can I find the shovels? *Worker: Down aisle twenty, man. *Gustav: Thank you! *(He sprints to the aisle. Cut to Iain and Joseph parking outside of the taxi.) *Joseph: He's here. You go steal that taxi while I get a shovel! *Iain: What about your bike? *Joseph: Screw the bike, the treasure won't fit! We'll come back for it later! *Iain: (sighs) Alright, fine.(He sees a coffee cart) I'm just going to get some coffee, you want one or not? *Joseph: We don't have time for a coffee break, you idiot! Yeah, get me a large one, this is going to be a long trip. *(Iain runs to buy coffee while Joseph runs inside the hardware store. Meanwhile, Gustav is looking for aisle twenty, but he is growing tired. Joseph is looking for a shovel, but he stops when he sees a microphone on a counter.) *Joseph: Hmmm..... *(Cut to Gustav looking through aisle nineteen, which is filled with shovels.) *Joseph: (mimicking a Southern accent) Huge sale! 90% off toilet plungers, I repeat, 90% off toilet plungers in aisle thirty, only available for 30 seconds, toilet plungers of the finest quality, perfect for tight arses! Last chance, get them while they're there! *(Gustav stops, then runs down to aisle thirty for a toilet plunger.) Category:Fanon episodes Category:Sunlight Bullets